As a casual viewer not entirely invested in Game of Thrones, I thought I’d share my two cents on who should win the throne governing the Seven Kingdoms.
A few caveats: Most of my Game of Thrones knowledge stems from an issue of Entertainment Weekly. I don’t know half of the major characters’ names; there are way too many and most of them are only on screen for about two minutes at a time so what’s the point? I usually spend the hour scrolling through my Twitter feed, glancing at the screen whenever my friends gasp, and occasionally asking who is who. But don’t worry, not even my ignorance will stop me from speculating who will eventually win the game.
This is a no-brainer. Of course Dany should get a shot at the Iron Throne. I’m told that she has a legitimate familial claim, but doesn’t everyone? The Khaleesi has proven, again and again, that she would be an excellent queen. She married that horse dude even though she didn’t want to, so we know she can make sacrifices and turn a bad situation into something that will benefit her. She let the Unsullied choose to join her army as free men. Oh, and she’s got three dragons and everyone’s going bananas over them.
The only negative thing about the Khaleesi is that she spent the last three seasons wandering around, fighting characters I don’t know, collecting armies, and ignoring Jorah’s pathetic, lovelorn looks. She has yet to reach King’s Landing or wherever everybody else is. Kind of a slow walker. Eats horses.
He is widely considered to be “pretty cute but would be a drag to hang out with” by my friends. The general consensus is that he’s sad because he’s not a real Stark and he probably has Seasonal Affective Disorder due to the winter that is perpetually coming. He did, however, inherit the unfortunate Stark characteristic of doing everything right and being a good person, which is always nice when considering who you want to rule over you but it’s not a very smart way to win. (By the way, have they never heard of democracy in this world? It would solve practically everything.) Last I remember, Jon was with some red-haired girl who made him laugh once or twice. Honestly I don’t even like this guy. I miss Robb.
The Red-Haired Woman Who Is Not the Girl Jon Snow Is Crushing On
I don’t know her name. I’m afraid to Google it because I remember being scared of her character. She has magic powers and I’m pretty sure she’s evil. I’m not really into the idea of her at the throne, but I feel like if I leave her out of this list then she might curse me.
Estranged from her family, Sansa reminds us that teenage girls can be cunning, strong, and capable. She knows how to lie. She knows when to speak up and when to keep treasonous thoughts to herself. I love Sansa because she’s in an awful situation. She’s trying to make the best of it in order to survive and she had to see her dad’s severed head. Traumatizing events like that unequivocally make a person stronger. Sansa should win because I’m not a monster and I still believe that good people deserve good things, George R. R. Martin.
I remember this character because Sansa’s dad visited him before he was murdered. Ned Stark learned that Gendry is Robert Baratheon’s bastard son through Punnett squares, probably, which is pretty cool in a fantasy world wherein women can give birth to the smoke monster from Lost. Gendry isn’t corrupt, but I don’t think he knows anything about politics. Maybe Sansa can hire him to make a helmet for her when she becomes queen?
All in all, Gendry’s a good pick because he has Baratheon blood, but does lineage matter in a time of war, where the Lannisters and Targaryens and every other family are claiming the throne? Why do people even want to rule these kingdoms? It’s hard work. Have they seen how old Obama’s gotten?
Tyrion is the only Lannister I like. It’s easy to like Tyrion because the other Lannisters are terrible in comparison. I like that he slapped Joffrey a few times. He’s a fighter, he’s capable of scheming, and he’s perceptive. He’s also incredibly empathetic towards my girl Sansa and I appreciate that. Tyrion and Sansa understand politics and I think they can play upon that power when the time is right. Tyrion is also hands-down the funniest character; he always has witty lines even when he’s drunk. Hopefully Sansa will keep him around as a jester when she’s queen.
Littlefinger & Lord Varys
I don’t trust these guys. Why are they always around? Why are they constantly whispering to each other? Are they friends? Are they enemies? Why does anyone listen to them? They don’t belong to any important families but they get so much screen time.
I am not joking. I saw Mitt’s documentary on Netflix a few months ago and despite my left-wing beliefs, I fell in love with him a little bit. Not only does Mitt have political experience, he seems like a kind, smart man. If he can’t win the presidency here, he might as well run for king in Westeros. There’s no doubt that House Romney would be a great addition to the game. As we know, family is important when trying to rule an empire, and Mitt has a million sons. They’re all close: they pray together, they are supportive, and they hug all the time. The Seven Kingdoms could use a little prayer and a little positivity. Mitt could be the one to bring that to them.
And there we have it. These are my picks for who should win the game of thrones. But who knows? By the time the first episode airs, this list might be completely irrelevant. I know the show is known for killing off entire storylines because George R. R. Martin doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings, so my best bet is that he saves at least one character whose name I know. Let’s hope it’s either Mitt or Sansa!