Over a year ago Warner Brothers announced that J.K. Rowling was writing a screenplay for a new film set in the Harry Potter Universe. More recently it was announced that Rowling’s film will be the first in a trilogy of Harry Potter “Megamovies.” Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them will star Newt Scamander, a Magizoologist (magical zoologist) and will be set in New York 70 years before the events in her famous heptalogy. While the prospect of a new set of faces to lead a story in the Harry Potter universe is intriguing, the strength of the series lied in the characters we grew to love in the books. It’s safe to say that what a decent portion of audience members enjoyed so much about the films were the ways they brought these imagined book characters to life.
It’s an obvious mistake to stray away from the tried and true populace of Hogwarts Castle and Diagon Alley. It also won’t be possible to bring back the core trio of Harry, Ron, and Hermione to chat over meals in the Great Hall and get lost in the Enchanted Forest. It’s been done and Daniel Radcliffe is old now. However, there are a bevy of other characters in Rowling’s books that could serve as excellent leads in the context of a spinoff, with potential for story lines much more suitable for contemporary audiences. Read on to catch a glimpse of these potential blockbusters that will likely never see the silver screen.
It wasn’t easy being Luna Lovegood at Hogwarts. Before she became cool and relevant riding the coat tails of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, she was little more than an afterthought to the other students. Here’s the story: after a bad breakup with the newly-handsome Neville Longbottom following graduation, Luna moves into a studio flat magically shrunk into a cardboard box in London Zone 1. Dating in the wizarding world is complicated enough, but things are even more difficult for Luna, her lonely father, and their eclectic habits. Will she and her radish earrings find love? What is Luna really looking for? I think we’d all like to probably not even find out by the end of this one.
Animal Hufflepuff House:
Set in the past, this comedy stars Amos Diggory, the father of Cedric who passed so tragically during the Triwizard Tournament. In his first year at Hogwarts, Amos caught detention with the Bloody Baron after using a vanishing wall charm to spy on the Gryffindor 7th year girl’s dormitory. In his 6th year, he cast the irreversible locomotor stairway spell that would become so synonymous with the school. None of this would stop him from claiming the title of Head Boy while leading Hufflepuff to the House Cup. This raunchy coming of age tale would follow Diggory and his cohorts’ adventures with room for cameos from parents of other students from the books and of course a much younger Professor Albus Dumbledore. At the very least, Amos deserves something positive after this incredibly depressing scene that you definitely shouldn’t watch.
J.K Rowling chronicles the love between Fleur Delacour and Bill Weasley in her books. The beautiful Fleur stays with Bill despite his werewolfism, a condition that forces them into leading a solitary life by the sea. A dramatic romance, the film will chronicle the tension caused by Bill’s sickness, which turns him into a blood-thirsty monster on a monthly basis. Viktor Krum, a Quidditch star cast from glory after a broom accident and one of Fleur’s many scorned suitors, will announce his undying love for her. Perhaps greatest trial of all for Bill and Fleur will be navigating the constant invasion of privacy from the ghastly presence of the buried-nearby Dobby the house elf.
The Big Chud:
Who wouldn’t want to hear more about Ron’s favorite Quidditch team? After spending years at the bottom of their division, the run-down Chudley Cannons get a jolt of energy in the form of a walk-on ringer who flies up out of the blue to help turn the team around. Bartillus Milrucker, or the Big Chud as he will come to be known, will take George Weasley, who left Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes and turned to Quidditch after losing his brother in the battle of Hogwarts, under his wing to save a franchise on the brink. The film culminates in the pair winning the Quidditch World Cup for England, the big Chud himself scoring a goal that secures the game for England. Fans around the world then make their best attempt to integrate the Big Chud’s signature move, the Milrucker mosh, into actual sports.
It’s likely we won’t see any of these films come to life. Fortunately we have the wild world of Harry Potter fan fiction to fill our heads with even more great ideas and adventures like these. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them will still be worth a trip to the theater, but it’s safe to say most audiences would rather catch more familiar characters in a safer plot structure than embark on a risky new adventure with Newt Scamander.