1. Eat at his local McDonalds.
McDonald’s is the second largest food franchise in the world and is known for their consistency. However, no other restaurant can get the special sauce on the Big Mac just right like the one Lebron frequents at home.
2. Start his Residency at Cleveland’s Anatomy Night club.
If porn star Sasha Grey can start spinning, why not Lebron? He’ll be on from 1-3 on Thursdays and Saturdays. Don’t miss out on his Fancy/Space Jam Remix: “I’m so Fancyyyyy, you already JAM.”
3. Set in motion a plan to jump start Cleveland’s economy.
Aside from the emotional toll Lebron’s departure from Cleveland took on the city, his worth can also be measured in dollar signs. It’s estimated that his value to the Cleveland economy is hundreds of millions if not billions of dollars. Obviously he needs to be the man to ascribe where all that money will go to ensure Cleveland’s longterm financial security.