Last night at Houston’s Minute Maid Park, Taylor Swift, the pretty girl from your high school who is friends with three non-popular people, was set to have a concert. After the show, however, a problem arose. The fire alarm sounded, ordering everyone in the stadium to evacuate. As the PA system instructed occupants to exit, the “Style” singer did not evacuate in a calm and orderly manner, but instead pulled out her phone and posted a video to her 45.8 million followers.
In the video above we hear her mother, Andrea, instructing Taylor to put clothes on so the #squad can evacuate to safety. As the PA system instructs in the background, Taylor responds to her mother’s increasingly serious cries to cover up.
“I have clothes on, I have a robe on. This is clothes, I’m covered”
This raises some serious questions. Is robe clothes? Should you bring your mother on tour? Should you ignore fire alarms? Do you remember in college during an evacuation when you got to see everyone in your dorm in towels and/or robes? Does Taylor Swift think about how she missed out on the college experience? Is robe clothes?
As it turns out the alarm was just part of a drill, but what are we to take of Taylor’s cavalier attitude toward fire alarms? Did she “Shake it Off” because she knew it wasn’t a real fire? Is it fair for Taylor to use her mother’s natural maternal fear to score Instagram likes?
But back to the robe, it’s this writers opinion that robe is not clothes. But because robe is between shower and clothes, meant precisely to cover up before clothes are chosen, both Swifts are correct. Taylor is “covered” as she says, but is incorrect in calling her robe clothes. Her mother does not ask to cover up, she asks to put clothes on. This brings us to a new question: at what point is it urgent enough for “covered up” to be sufficient? Andrea Swift is serious about this Minute Maid park alarm, but not get-out-with-whatever-you-have-on-serious. Conversely, Taylor seems serious about evacuating without dealing with an unimportant wardrobe change, but undercuts her message by arguing about the merits of the robe-as-clothes and posting it on Instagram.
So, is robe clothes?