President Trump’s America

November 10th, 2019.  Three years into the watershed administration of one Donald Trump, the iconic example of world democracy. Follow along, idiots. Well, we did it America. After a year-and-a-half campaign characterized by grandstanding and name-calling, we elected Donald Trump as our 45th president. He damn near blew up the… [Read More]

Confessions of a *Former Secret DeAndre Jordan Admirer

I have a confession to make about DeAndre Jordan. I have hated the lob city incarnation of the Clippers from the moment its pieces first came together. Chris Paul’s transformation from potential Lakers savior to scowling Napoleonic tormenter and Blake Griffin’s thing for Kias and being a wimp will never… [Read More]

There is No Such Thing as Too Much Ja Rule

Reinvention is the key to pop culture relevance. Unless you possess some sort of transcendent star power, chances are you’re going to have to scratch and claw for every opportunity to keep your name on the ticker. So I guess, then, it wasn’t the least bit surprising that everyone’s favorite… [Read More]

Drake, Wale, and the Art of Holding a Grudge on Social Media

They say that when you put something on the Internet, it’s there forever. I don’t know if that’s true or not (my original Myspace picture went the way of the dodo), but I do know that the lifespan of a joke you make on social media will only be outlasted… [Read More]

The Awful Reality of Rooting for Your Team to Lose

The simplest canon of sports fandom is the unwavering support we exhibit for our favorite teams. It’s a constant that remains, regardless of circumstance, the driving force behind why we watch. If our team is playing, we are cheering for a victory. The decision is so far out of our… [Read More]

Transmissions From Ceres, the Dwarf Planet

Earth, do you read me? My name is Dawn, and I am transmitting from the darkness of space, somewhere in the asteroid belt, the proposed last stop on this existential mission I’ve been sent on by the astrophysical bullies at NASA. You see, they’ve sent me to photograph a dwarf… [Read More]

What Has Turd Ferguson Been Up To?

The SNL 40th anniversary special was Sunday night and it was a reminder that if you take all of the most entertaining people on the planet and put them in one building, you have a puncher’s chance of making a few hours of good television. Of all the iconic SNL… [Read More]

God, Russell Wilson, and Super Bowl XLIX’s Divine Ending

Well that was without a doubt the craziest end to a Super Bowl I’ve ever seen. Pundits on every sports outlet are going to spend the next week poring over the game parcel-by-parcel, yard-by-yard, trying to explain a fourth quarter that was basically inexplicable. So many stupefying plays in such… [Read More]

So You Want to Be a Crowd Star

The brilliant and fleeting 15 minutes of viral fame for random people has always kind of fascinated me. Before DVRs, if you were on television in a crowd somewhere, you might hear about it from a few friends or your grandmother. Now anyone can just rewind and watch it again,… [Read More]

Lessons From ‘Sonic Highways’

I’ve always had kind of a soft spot for the Foo Fighters. They catch a lot of flak, but I can’t think of another band since the Chili Peppers that has managed to commercialize hard rock while maintaining an authentic identity that resonates globally. So thus I’ve been pretty intrigued… [Read More]