Peyton Manning is My Father, Part II
This is part II in an epic, completely fictional series starring Peyton Manning, a 38-year-old future hall of fame quarterback, and me, a 24-year-old Denver Broncos fan who feels that Peyton is, in a figurative sense, his father. To read part I, click here. A loud CLANG jolts me awake…. [Read More]
Popped a Molly, I’m Bettin’
We would like to interrupt your regularly scheduled browsing to discuss the latest golden nugget from our favorite real life depiction of Mad Libs, the NFL news cycle. Wes Welker was suspended four games for testing positive for amphetamines, which Deadspin is reporting as due to his taking speed-laced molly… [Read More]
Little League, Big Stage
My favorite sports daydream as a kid had me coming up to the plate with the bases loaded and the game on the line. But I wasn’t in Fenway Park or any Major League ballpark; I was concerned with immediate hypothetical gratification. So as it went, I was crushing a… [Read More]
Just How Stupid Are the ESPYs?
The idea of an award show for sports doesn’t seem altogether like a stupid idea, both from an entertainment and business standpoint. Award shows get more viewers than ever, and fans, always eager for an opportunity to argue and compare, have yet another outlet in which to judge world class… [Read More]
Who Are the Real Winners of the Lebron Signing?
While Lebron signing is great for the city of Cleveland and its fans, there are way more winners of “The Letter” than you might expect. Here are the real winners. Usher He owns a minority stake in the Cavs. More like U Got it GOOD, Ursher BB. Johnny Manziel Nike’s Ad… [Read More]
3 Things Lebron Will Do Upon His Return to Cleveland
1. Eat at his local McDonalds. McDonald’s is the second largest food franchise in the world and is known for their consistency. However, no other restaurant can get the special sauce on the Big Mac just right like the one Lebron frequents at home. 2. Start his Residency at Cleveland’s Anatomy… [Read More]
The World’s Most Watched Public Shaming Ever
There is a German word for what Germany did to Brazil yesterday. Schadenfreude. It means to derive pleasure through the misfortunes of others. Sounds about right. Adding insult to industry, as if losing on their own home turf as favorites was bad enough, early TV estimates show that it was… [Read More]
USMNT Ranked by Coolness
Alas, dear reader, we are here talking about the World Cup. The US team, to be specific. Part of what makes USMNT Soccer so fun is the fact that we are underdogs. Being an underdog is so fun. It’s great not being the asshole expecting to win. America doesn’t get… [Read More]
Tim Duncan’s Resume: Preparing for the Next Step
As we all know, Tim Duncan is quite possibly the greatest basketball player of his generation (with apologies to Kobe Bean Bryant). Aside from the fact that he’s currently in his sixth Finals appearance, 15 years after his first one, he’s an all-around great guy with a higher voice than… [Read More]
NBA Cross-Promotional Ads are the Worst
Okay, this is something that needs to be discussed. Why is it that the NBA has always approved horrible crossover commercials where in-game NBA clips are spliced with products and movies that have nothing to do with basketball? For clarification, watch this Kumho Tires commercial that’s been airing recently: HAHAHA…. [Read More]
