Sad Summer Reads
Just because it’s June and the sun is shining and people are outside laughing and Instagramming their frappuccinos, it doesn’t mean that you have to succumb to fun! summer! expectations! Look, I enjoy my friends’ Facebook ~ SUMMER 2014 ~ photo albums as much as the next person, but my… [Read More]
The Stain of Auto-Delete Culture
I started my car this morning and caught the tail end of an ad introducing this new interactive chatting app called Frankly. “Just like a real conversation, your messages don’t hang around.” It was enough to get the point. Having had my fair share of drunken exchanges in the past,… [Read More]
Repunctuation: Because Emojis Aren’t the Answer¬
If you have ever texted a teenage girl, I can guarantee you, your lack of exclamation points has been misconstrued as disdain for everything she stands for. If you’ve ever replied to your mom’s email with biting sarcasm, I can guarantee you, she took you seriously and passed along to… [Read More]
Oreo Creme-Stuffed Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies are Trying to Kill Me
If there’s one thing to know about me its that from the ages of 11 through 21 I ate on average 1.5 rows of Chips Ahoy Chewy Chocolate Chip cookies per night. With milk. No dunking. I like all chocolate chip cookies. Hard, soft – it doesn’t really matter as long as… [Read More]
How to Fix BookCon
Right now in New York City BookExpo America (BEA), the definitive Book Expo in America is taking place at the Javits Center. This four-day event is being capped off on Saturday by “BookCon,” an open to the public event (for $30). BookCon is billed as the consumer-facing day, meant to… [Read More]
Selling My Digital Soul
It’s very important to me personally that everyone know: the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive is a revolution in shaving technology. The five “ultra guide blades” ensure a close shave while the “aloe skin guards” and “hydrating gel reservoir” leave skin smooth and irritation free. Truly, the modern razor has reached… [Read More]
Eggers, Yelp, and Review Culture
If you’ve read Dave Eggers’s not-so-distant-future dystopian novel The Circle, wherein a Google-type company assumes total control of the world’s governments and privacy, at least one of three questions has probably crossed your mind: Can Dave Eggers get any preachier? Should we be afraid that we’ll all eventually be required… [Read More]
Beards, Whiskey, and Renaissance Bros
Let’s talk about beards and whiskey. To your grandfather, the two may have nothing in common. But you, you social media savvy 20-something motherfucker, you know that beards and whiskey are the two things milleni-bros are most interested in being interested in. Masculinity isn’t having a renaissance. It’s never gone… [Read More]
NBA Cross-Promotional Ads are the Worst
Okay, this is something that needs to be discussed. Why is it that the NBA has always approved horrible crossover commercials where in-game NBA clips are spliced with products and movies that have nothing to do with basketball? For clarification, watch this Kumho Tires commercial that’s been airing recently: HAHAHA…. [Read More]
Which Drake Song Should Johnny Football Walk Out To?
The no fun league is having a little fun at this years draft. They are allowing the draftees to pick their own walk-up song when their name is called by Emperor Goodell. This new twist comes at the perfect time, as Drake’s draft day is an homage to star Texas… [Read More]
