The Stories We Tell About Our Pets
I have two cats. The older one, Lil, is a straight up broad. She is assertive, entitled, fiercely loyal, and, I suspect, on the lower end of the Autism spectrum. The younger one, Lucy, is a total dork. She sticks her tongue out when she concentrates and exhales sharply out… [Read More]
President Trump’s America
November 10th, 2019. Three years into the watershed administration of one Donald Trump, the iconic example of world democracy. Follow along, idiots. Well, we did it America. After a year-and-a-half campaign characterized by grandstanding and name-calling, we elected Donald Trump as our 45th president. He damn near blew up the… [Read More]
Which Jonas Brother is Right for You?
In October of 2013, The Jonas Brothers (the unit) broke up and became the Jonas brothers (the individual humans) and millions of girls around the world went into a tailspin (not me though, I handled things just fine). Since then, they’ve embarked on new and exciting projects, and Kevin does… [Read More]
Play Donald Trump Rosh Hashanah Tweet Bingo
At the time of publication, @realDonaldTrump has not yet tweeted about the Jewish Holiday Rosh Hashanah which begins tonight at sun down.
Taylor Swift and Her Mother Debate If A Robe Is Clothes
Last night at Houston’s Minute Maid Park, Taylor Swift, the pretty girl from your high school who is friends with three non-popular people, was set to have a concert. After the show, however, a problem arose. The fire alarm sounded, ordering everyone in the stadium to evacuate. As the PA system… [Read More]
The Best Laid Data Plans
I recently found myself in a sitcom-style family meeting, the theme of which was a shared data plan. How modern and annoying! The meeting was called when we exceeded 10 GB of data usage during one monthly billing cycle, incurring several additional $15 charges. Since I was the main offender,… [Read More]
Just Another Frontier?
Humans have always been kind of obsessive about space, so the recent glut of space themed entertainment is not necessarily surprising. Even NASA has gotten in the game again (after a few years of coyly telling everyone they were going to focus on Earth-related issues), and getting ready to launch… [Read More]
3 Burning Man Questions
I am currently on my way to Burning Man for the first time but, that doesn’t mean I fully understand what the hell Burning Man is. I know people go to the desert. I know they probably do some weird stuff there. What do they do though? Why do they do it?… [Read More]
28 Out of Context Carly Rae Jepsen Lyrics You Should Text Someone Tonight
28. Somewhere out there someone is breathing 27. Drink tequila for me babe 26. This emotion, I feel it, this emotion, you feel it 25. I saw myself tonight 24. Late night watching television, but how’d we get in this position? 23. It’s too late for us and there’s no… [Read More]
How to Enjoy The Bachelor Without Actually Watching It
For reasons I don’t understand and never care to, Bachelor in Paradise and all other iterations of the show have taken over every social circle on the planet, leaving it impossible for me engage in the meaningful daily discussions about climate change or, like, Joe Jonas’ Instagram account. Everyone watches… [Read More]
