Five Signs of the One Direction Apocalypse
On March 25th — less than four months ago — Zayn announced that he was leaving One Direction. I handled it okay. I knew that everything was going to be fine as long as the four remaining members of this stupid band could hold it together. In a surprising turn… [Read More]
Netflix is a Bad Boyfriend
This is an intervention. I’m here because I care about you. I know Netflix seemed exciting at first, because he showed you all kinds of things you’d never seen before. He was new and different. He let you be yourself. He liked you with no make up, and he never… [Read More]
Confessions of a *Former Secret DeAndre Jordan Admirer
I have a confession to make about DeAndre Jordan. I have hated the lob city incarnation of the Clippers from the moment its pieces first came together. Chris Paul’s transformation from potential Lakers savior to scowling Napoleonic tormenter and Blake Griffin’s thing for Kias and being a wimp will never… [Read More]
I Don’t Follow Sports So I Watched ESPN for a Week
I have a handful of pop culture blindspots: theatre, comic books, video games, and sports. Ah, SPORTS! I mean, listen: I can rattle off the names of every player on the 1997 University of Arizona Wildcat Championship team (and what NBA team they ended up on), I can recognize and… [Read More]
Big Sean Loves Condoms
In the US, teen pregnancy is down and the reason may be Big Sean. According to Genius, the Detroit rapper’s discography contains a whopping 19 condom references, which would be a lot for a sex ed teacher. To find out what the deal is with noted sex-haver, Big Sean’s obsession with the… [Read More]
An Internet Idiot
I know how Facebook uses my information to make money (offering highly targeted advertisements to companies like Chubbies who want to sell shorts to 24 year olds that like their competitors brands). I know who people are dissing when they subtweet (just look at who they were tweeting nice things… [Read More]
Drunk Movie Review: ‘Jurassic World’
My first DMR (Drunk Movie Review, of course) happened because I was too afraid of outer space to see Interstellar sober. My second one happened because Fifty Shades of Grey is fucking stupid. Jurassic World had the potential to be both stupid and scary, and so here we are. Also,… [Read More]
The Many Different Types of Instagram Likes
I’ve never really considered myself an easy like on Instagram. I want you to earn that laborious little double tap, you know? I mean, unless you’re @harlowandsage, you better believe that I am putting in at least four seconds of thought before I decide whether or not to like your… [Read More]
The Differences Between Flirting Online and Flirting in Real Life
Flirting is a challenging concept to discuss because of its inherent subtlety, but I’m going to attempt anyway because I respect the possibility of true love. Flirting is what happens when you’re maybe interested in someone and you want to know if they’re maybe interested in you back. That sounds… [Read More]
Are Vibes Real?
Our futuristic world is full of quantitative digital tangibles: number counts of Instagram likes, Facebook friends, retweets, bank account statements, event attendees, and so on. We can accurately assess many details about anything by the records left online. However, standing out against the grain in what we measurably experience through… [Read More]
