How to Date When You’re Afraid of Dating Apps
Amy Schumer was recently on Ellen, and upon being asked if she was dating, she answered, “No, I’m not on any of the dating websites.” This made me panic. Because Amy Schumer is kind of my Messiah based on everything else she said on Ellen that day, and she said it… [Read More]
Self-Help Books and Trap Music Aren’t That Different
A few days ago, I was talking to my dad on the phone and mentioned a TED Radio Hour podcast on “Success” I had listened to earlier. I should probably mention that my dad is pretty old school, but practical to a point where he’s open to new ideas. That… [Read More]
The 2016 Presidential Nominees: Chipotle, Instagram Filters, and Other Real Issues
It was the burrito order heard around the world. A chicken bowl with guacamole. That’s what Hillary Clinton ordered in a Maumee, Ohio Chipotle restaurant, just days after announcing she would be running for president in the 2016 election via a video that declared “Everyday Americans need a champion, and… [Read More]
Jon Snow’s Snapchat Story: A Day at Castle Black
Life at Castle Black can be tough. It’s cold, management sucks, and the dating scene leaves a lot to be desired. But as with all thankless jobs, the people working there are really the unsung heroes of the realm. Without them, we’d all be lifeless zombies with blue Gatorade-colored eyes. So take… [Read More]
How to Cure the Sunday Night Blues
Contrary to popular belief, I am extremely delightful to be around. I’m even fun on Sunday nights, which are super tough for people who don’t have real problems. None of my friends are ever truly happy, but they are unhappiest on Sunday nights. Monday is irrefutably the worst day of… [Read More]
Serious Startup Forecast 2015
There’s pretty much a startup for everything. Do you want a new mattress? Try Casper. Do you need to have your laundry done? There’s not one, but four different startups that will take care of that for you (make that three, R.I.P. Prim). And for the all inclusive, there’s Alfred, a… [Read More]
‘Game of Thrones’ Characters As Things That Are Happening This Spring
Game of Thrones is a cool show. It’s a fine show. I watch it. You probably do too. Did you ever wonder what would happen if you tried to match Game of Thrones characters with other relevant content? I wonder this all the time. But instead of just picking one… [Read More]
The Dos and Don’ts of Unemployment: An Expert’s Guide
If I have one specialty in life, it’s choosing the most transient and financially unprofitable professions available to me. Part of this has to do with the fact that God has graced me with only useless talents. I tried to learn HTML and couldn’t, but I have won every limbo… [Read More]
In Defense of Women’s Magazines
When I was a kid, I would read anything I could get my hands on. This is how Cosmopolitan quickly got banned from the Konstantinides household. This is also how I developed my deep and long-lasting love for magazines. Instead of broadcast news or a daily newspaper, my parents digested… [Read More]
‘Mad Men’ Facial Hair and/or Emotional Power Rankings
It’s good to be back. Mad Men’s final seven episodes kicked off Sunday night, and so far, everyone seems to be having a fun, sexy time in the ’70s, with their colorful suits, continued self-damaging love affairs, and of course, progressive facial hair. Although Grantland’s excellent MM power rankings include… [Read More]
