The NBA season is finally upon us! This season promises to be one of the best we’ve had in years. All of our young stars have finally matured into the league’s pantheon of elite players, LeBron’s Decision is 3 NBA Finals appearances, 2 MVP’s and 2 rings deep, and Juwan Howard is STILL getting a check (way to go big fella). But what better way is there to bring in the new season than list some of the most entertaining and provocative players in today’s game?
Defining how ridiculous an NBA player can be in 2013 has become almost an American past time. There’s no criteria for the below, FYI. I just thought about who can be the biggest idiots in the league and put them in a list. I don’t know if I’m being biased or if it’s just the bitter truth, but there are a TON of idiots who play for the Lakers (full disclosure: I am a massive Lakers fan), both currently and in the past. Yay for us.
Anyhoo, here they are starting with 7.
7. Jordan Hill
Our first Laker! We’ll start from the bottom with this rag tag group of players. Jordan Hill is coming off hip surgery that sidelined him for most of the Lakers’ 2012-2013 season. Apparently the time off didn’t give him any extra time to practice his interviewing techniques, though. He is as inarticulate as they come, the kind of guy that tells you he’s going to give 100% and work hard and rebound and give another 110% and rebound. Also, he spent his off-season working primarily on his outside jump shot…sometimes it really hurts to be a Laker fan.
6. Nick Young
Our second Laker! Aside from his game-changing fashion style and top-5 pseudo-flattop hairstyle, this kid likes to have fun. He also loves China, apparently.
5. Chris Kaman
Jeez even I, at this point, think this is a Lakers only list…but I digress. Our third Laker! Apparently Chris and the Lakers’ sophomore center, Robert Sacre, went hunting together during the off-season.
This is a 7-foot tall man holding a bobcat by the legs.
4. Demarcus Cousins
He demanded a trade his rookie season. “Are you serious?” you may ask. Yes I am. If thinking that you have the kind of leverage as say, Carmelo Anthony had while in Denver, as a rookie, something is seriously wrong in the head. Plus when you look at him on the court, he’s clearly one of the best guys out there and is also the guy that cares the least.
3. JaVale Magee
Even my high school coach would have benched me for such tom-foolery.
2. Andrew Bynum
He hurt his knee (the non-surgically repaired one) while bowling last year.
I’ll repeat that statement: He hurt his knee (the non-surgically repaired one) while bowling last year.
1. Metta World Peace (fka Ron Artest)
Oh dear. The king of all that is knuckleheadedness. Where do we begin? Ron-Ron kissing his biceps? His jibber-jabber about how he brushes his teeth? How he’s “too cool for his cat?” Or do we start with the Malice in the Palace and mozie on along to the fact that he used to drink whiskey at halftime during his Chicago Bulls days. OR DO WE START WITH THE FACT THAT HE CHANGED HIS NAME TO METTA?
These are all deserving jumping off points. So now, some video entertainment:
Josh Smith (Google outside shooting percentage), JR Smith, Robert Sacre, Chris “Birdman” Anderson, and Ronny Turiaf