There’s pretty much a startup for everything. Do you want a new mattress? Try Casper. Do you need to have your laundry done? There’s not one, but four different startups that will take care of that for you (make that three, R.I.P. Prim). And for the all inclusive, there’s Alfred, a service that allows subscribers to have access to a small army of personal assistants who take care of everything from laundry to grocery shopping. All of these services are designed to make life easier for you, you busy bee. And it’s only April—what new services will we see by December? Here is my extremely realistic and accurate start-up forecast for 2015:
Not to be confused with Box or Dropbox, Boxy helps the busy professional deal with all the clutter in their life. Well, not all the clutter. Email clutter. Boxy cleans out all of that annoying junk mail that is ruining your peace of mind. How annoying is that little red notification saying that you have 13,000 unread emails? So annoying. Let Boxy take care of it for you. They’ll delete all of those unread emails so you don’t have to. Seriously, they’ll just delete all of them. It’s not like you’re going to read them. There are about 1,000 that have been sitting in your inbox since 2010. Time to let go. With help from Boxy.
Taking sweaters to the dry cleaners is a waste of your precious time, and they often fail to get all of those little lint balls out of your favorite old sweater. With Lint Licker, a discrete professional will remove all of those pesky little buggers for you!
Beating those fad games like Flappy Bird and Candy Crush games is difficult, and sometimes you just don’t have time to get to the next level. Level Lander is here for you. A Level Lander squad member (if you can say that five times fast you get a complimentary Level Lander frisbee!) will access your phone and make sure that you are killing it in your Game Center rankings. Don’t let a busy schedule interfere with your life. Your gaming life, that is.
Isn’t feeling awful after a fun night out the worst? Don’t let a hangover get you down, get a Hangover Haver! With this service, a trained professional will go out with you and make sure you don’t drink any more than a couple beverages. After that, they will take over! You and your hangover helper can party all night long, and you won’t have a hangover the next morning!
Have you ever laid in bed, scrolling through Tumblr when suddenly—smack—you drop your phone on your face? It’s painful, annoying, and can now be completely avoided with Handi Helper! A discrete Handi Helper team member will hold any book, magazine, or device for you, so you can get back to relaxing. The only downside to this service is if you use it, you are actually a terrible, terrible person.